


Descant in a strange realm

by Starbat



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Character Study, F/F, in this house we treat our f/f couples right, this leans more on the character study side than the shipping but there are moments for both
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 18:48:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11606754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbat/pseuds/Starbat
Summary: Selena has no time for a trip down memory lane. Her duties are here, in Nohr, searching for the child she was sent to be a retainer for and protecting the one she was hired by. Even though it's all well and good to say things like that, the harder she tries not to think of home, the easier it becomes.A few weeks into her new job, Camilla invites Selena into her room for a chat.





	Descant in a strange realm

**Author's Note:**

> Descant has two meanings, so I decided to try my hand at one of those ~artsy~ titles. you know. like the ones people who are like 8x better at writing than me use, lmao. Really though I liked the mood and tone in this story so i hope you all like it as well! Severa has been a longtime favorite of mine, as is most of the awakening cast, being honest. I really love them. 
> 
> I imagine it'd be hard not to miss them all.

It’s her third week in the castle when Camilla calls her into her room. To her growing frustration, she’s not even a bit closer to understanding which child she is supposed to act as a retainer for. Owain - Odin, she corrects herself. His name is Odin, and her name is Selena, and Inigo’s name is Laslow. It puts a bad taste in her mouth, but she can, will, and must remember. They are an eternity away from home. Their names are forfeit.

Odin and Laslow have both begun working for the boys of this family, and they don’t have a member to watch over Elise so they just have to hope she wasn’t the one the dragon asked them to care for. It’s her understanding that none of these people are his child, though. Which means she’s failing. As she has done so many times before.

It makes her want to scream.

 _Selena_ makes her way into her liege’s room and bows. “You needed me?”

Camilla is lounging on her bed, facing the window beside it, where she has thrown the lavender curtains aside in hopes of getting some semblance of the sunrays (however precious few Nohr has to offer) to fall across her bed. Rich purple sheets bunch around her, the signs of an overly-fluffed bed, and she turns her gaze upon her with entirely too much mischief for Selena’s liking. She leans until she’s sitting up all the way, propped by her hand.

“Sit with me?” Camilla offers sweetly. Selena is to understand that it’s not a question. She nods once and sits down where Camilla has smoothed over the blanket and patted the bed.

“If you invited me here for a nap, I’m having serious doubts about why I had to prove myself in combat to get here.” She says snidely, without thinking. “Do you need me to hit stuff for you or not?”

Camilla giggles, high pitched and airy. “So impatient. Retainers have duties besides fighting, you know...”

Selena sighs. “Fine. What sort of errand do you want me to run? Maybe I can exercise my sword arm carrying your groceries, _gods._ Not like there’s anything better to do with my time.”

“I believe I asked you to sit with me, and nothing more.” Camilla replies, looking at her nails. They’re long and painted black; they remind Selena of talons more than anything else. It’s probably intentional.

She has no idea what that means. Camilla seems satisfied to have shut her up for a minute, and continues. “I called you here because I wish to know you better. You knocked my old retainer senseless, and besides....you intrigue me, Selena.”

No matter how often she hears it, there’s always a second of disconnect. Selena. Severa. It’s just two letters. She wonders if Anankos left hers the most similar on purpose, because he knew Inigo and Owain - damn it, Laslow and Odin - would have an easier time adjusting.

Still, the statement is interesting. She cocks her head at Camilla. “Is that so? Is it the secret to my good looks or my sword arm you’re after? I’m afraid I can’t share either.”

“Nothing so specific. I’m only after _you_.” The royal stretches an arm out to play with Selena’s hair, and she finds it increasingly difficult to keep her cool. “Let’s get a little more comfortable. Can you braid?”

“It’s an insult to even ask. Of course I can braid! Gods, what kind of girl do you take me for?”

She remembers learning from Cynthia what feels like ages ago. It’s an absurd thought, really: two children, daughters of the legendary pegasus knight duo, released off into the meadows to play while their parents whispered news about the war, and concerns for Exalt Chrom’s safety. Blissfully unaware of the world. It was so long ago. Before the risen, before the time travel and, most importantly, before all the death.

Cynthia braided flowers into her hair and they giggled and laughed while Severa made a rude remark only to follow it up with a fistfull of uprooted flowers and a bashful smile, a declaration that Cynthia was _alright, she guessed, for a silly little girl._

 _You’re not very honest_ , Cynthia had laughed then, _but that’s okay._ She taught Severa how to do her braids, first with her hair, then by herself. Cordelia had her hair braided all the time, but in a tight bun, as the captain of the pegasus knights should. No artistry at all. Severa always thought she must have been better at braiding than her mother.

Selena was good at braiding, too. Camilla made a pleased-sounding noise and pulled herself behind her on the bed, practically pulling Selena into her lap while she tried to settle her between her legs, to keep her resting against her while Camilla quickly undid her hair ties. “I was merely asking, dear. There’s simply so much we don’t know about each other. Discussing it while we braid each other’s hair seems fitting, doesn’t it? I’ll start, and you can ask me questions while you braid my hair, okay~?”

“Okay.” Severa says, a bit brusquely. Really she’s just nervous. How well can a bunch of false bravado cover up the fact that she refuses to talk about even the most basic facts about herself? Camilla is going to take her for a spy, or _worse_ , a hypocrite.

“Where are you from?” Selena wants to curse. Of course Camilla starts with that. “My brothers have been trying to extract the same information from the two you showed up with, but they haven’t had any luck. I suppose you’ll also refuse me?”

“ _Gods,_ why even ask if you know I can’t say anything about it?” She replies irritably. Normally she’d toss her head, but her hair is still in Camilla’s hands, so she can’t. “If those two numbskulls haven’t said anything, I’m not going to be the first.”

Camilla hums. “I see....Can you tell me what it’s like there, then? I don’t care about it’s position on the map. Only how well you knew the locale.”

“Ugh, I _guess_.” Selena tries not to spend much time thinking about Ylisse, but when has that ever worked? She thinks about the people and the place she left behind constantly. Always. It can’t be so hard to bring up a simple memory. And it isn’t.

She sighs, trying to relax herself with thoughts of home. “My home country was mostly grasslands and forests, but no matter what it was always green. The trees didn’t really change colors. Towns could be a good distance apart, but the roads were safe and easy to follow. It was beautiful in the summer at night. Me and -” She catches her voice before the name can leave her throat and forces it back down. “Me and a friend used to stay up late and bring swimsuits to a stream near where we used to live, and we’d run around catching torchbugs and splashing each other, because the weather stayed nice even in the dark. It was cozy, if you’re into that sort of thing. Sort of humid, which was hell for my hair, but I take good care of it, so I managed.”

“Mhm....You miss it?” Camilla prompts.

“Like hell.” Selena agrees, because it seems like a bad time to lie. “But I’m tough. I won’t look back as long as I have duties here.”

Camilla seems to pause in her brushing efforts (even though Selena’s hair was brushed to perfection this morning, Camilla was apparently intent on brushing it again before she braided it) at this, but she resumes just as fast. “How admirable!” She chimes instead. “Still, it sounds like your home country was rather warm, poor thing. You must be freezing at night here. I’ll send for extra blankets to be put in your quarters.”

“N-nothing of the sort is necessary!” Selena sputters. Of all the things - why can’t she talk more about her great work ethic than the temperature difference?!

....Even if Selena wouldn’t exactly complain about more blankets, it’s still rude! She can get used to cold. Her father grew up in it, for the gods’ sake. It’s in her blood.

Camilla makes a clicking sound with her tongue. “Oh, hush. I’m just making sure you don’t chill your poor little bones brittle before I need you to fight for me, dear! It’d be unfortunate to see them snapped off.”

That shuts Selena up quickly. She’d forgotten how....morbid, Camilla can be sometimes. She’s still learning about her charge, it seems. Well, the charge she’s taken on until she can find the one she was actually sent to, you know, be a retainer for. The one the dragon guy sent her to protect, but couldn’t name.

That one.

“Who taught you how to fight?” Camilla asks, and now Selena can feel her hands weaving her hair through itself - she’s done brushing it. “I’ve never seen anyone use a sword with your skill, and your movements are entirely unique, too.”

“Well, that’s just because I’m the best, obviously.” She says, because who has time for modesty when it’s true? “My father taught me the basics, but I refined my skills on my own. There wasn’t much time to teach me anything else - the war interrupted.”

It’s been too long since she thought of those first days he’d pulled her aside. Lon’qu was not a touchy-feeling kind of guy. Severa could respect that, now, but she’d been upset about his aloofness at the time. After insisting they spend more time together, he’d tried to appease her with sword lessons. His idea of ‘the basics’ was many other people’s idea of mastery, but it never stopped her from trying.

Eventually she grew into herself, and awkward, childish steps became the balanced movements she was so skilled at today. Once she landed a hit on him, the real training started.

She never beat him, not once, but it wasn’t fair. She never got to challenge him - never even got to _try_ sparring with her mother, and she couldn’t bring herself to do it once she’d traveled back in time, either.

“There was a war?” Camilla asks, curiously, and there’s a slight tug on her hair. She’s sitting up a bit straighter now.

Selena laughs, but it’s short and fake sounding. “I wish it was only one. I’ve been in two, and been around for three, if you’ll believe me.”

“I’m sorry to hear it.”

She rolls her eyes. “Don’t be. Obviously I won all of them, didn’t I? Besides, it’s really your fault for asking depressing questions." Selena says, brusquely, and looks at her nails like they're discussing the time of day and not The Wars. "Don’t you want to know about where I get my clothes, or something?”

“I have plenty of clothes of my own.” The princess replies in a wry voice. “Besides, this is proving so much more insightful~! You’re quite prickly, you know. Like a cute little porcupine!”

“Right, because every girl wants to be compared to a rat with spikes.” Selena says flatly. “I don’t see you doing this with Beruka, you know! If anyone’s hard to talk to, it’s her!”

Camilla giggles. “That may be true, but it only makes this more fun for me. I can tell you’re going to be more fun to talk to if I could just crack this shell open...” She brushes her hand along Selena’s cheek, slowly and carefully, and she feels the nails sharpened like claws faint against her skin. It spurs her to shiver, and earns another laugh from Camilla.

“ _Riiiight_.” She says, uncertainly. Selena’s not sure she can bluster her way out of this one.

“Well, fair is fair. I’ve finished your braids, so why don’t you let me sit in _your_ lap now~?” For the first time since beginning the conversation, Selena can see her face again, Camilla leaning around and giving her that same loppy smile with the half-lidded eyes. She’s never sure if she’s just eternally relaxed or giving everyone she meets the bedroom eyes.

Probably a mixture of both.

In any case, Selena blushes something fierce at the implication of her liege sitting on her lap, and quickly turns her head away. “You can sit in front of me. Besides, I won’t be able to hold your hair out far enough to braid if we’re that close together! _Gods_ , don’t you know anything?”

“Of course. My mistake.” Selena gets the strong understanding that Camilla doesn’t care even a little bit about being told off like that. But whatever. They switch places, and now Selena is backed up to the absurdly soft pillows and sitting in the comfortable warm spot that’d been made by Camilla.

She takes the brush looks at it, then Camilla’s mass of hair, and tries to figure out where to even begin. She sees her headpiece and is struck with the sudden compulsion to take it off. Hands feather-light around the black tiara, Selena slides it off carefully.

It feels entirely too personal. She sets it cautiously on the nightstand and removes the headband as well. By the time she’s started brushing, she’d nearly forgotten she was supposed to ask questions.

Where does she even start? What does she even want to know about Camilla?

“What do you like to do in your down time?” She starts off in a conversational tone, as she wrestles with curls and ringlets.

“Visit with all my darling siblings, of course.” Camilla says cheerily. “Our duties do sometimes bring us apart from each other, but I make sure everyone makes time for Corrin.”

“Corrin?” Selena prompts. She’d met Xander, Leo, and Elise, but no Corrin. Frankly, she had no idea there was a fifth royal. Unless Corrin was some kind of pet....?

“You don’t know her? Oh, you simply _must_ meet her sometime! She’s the most darling little girl you’ll ever see, really. She cannot leave the castle right now because of her poor constitution....Oh, my poor little heart breaks to pieces just thinking about it. I should arrange another visit soon.”

Camilla seems to be talking more to herself than Selena by this point, but the retainer dutifully continues brushing her hair out. “Mmmhm. I hope she feels better soon, for what it’s worth.” Which isn’t much, really.

Still, a sweet little girl with a poor constitution.....against her better judgement she thinks of Noire, holding her bow like a lifeline, looking at Severa with those big doe eyes, stammering an apology. _I didn’t mean to spill it_ , she said, near whispering. _I’m sorry for being so much trouble....._

Damn. Selena wishes she’d said...more. Done something. Maybe helped her get less dependent on her before she left. Is she alright right now?

Does she miss her? Does anyone?

She should have said goodbye.

She keeps brushing. “I had a childhood friend that was kind of frail - something about thin blood. You should make sure Corrin is getting enough iron. Spinach and meat and stuff like that. It’s good for them.”

“Really now?” Camilla sounds interested. “I had no idea. Do you have lots of good advice like this hiding in that pretty little head of yours?” She twists a bit on the bed, like she wants to turn around, but ultimately she doesn’t, and lets Selena keep at her job.

“Not particularly.” She replies with a shrug. “I just knew a bunch of crazy people that happened to have good medicinal practices, being honest....” She remembers how she feigned disinterest when Yarne was prattling on about his dad’s tinctures and his mother’s secret healing salve. Did Selena still have any? She thought she brought a container with her. Maybe she did. She should check - and if she didn’t, she should make some. Owain should know how. Back to the topic at hand.

Selena clears her throat. “We’re talking about _you_ , anyway. Don’t think I don’t notice you trying to change the subject! I know I’m interesting, but _gods_ , keep your word, will you??” Normally she’d toss her hair, but she can still feel it in it’s nice braid. It’d be a shame to ruin it.

Camilla laughs. “Of course I will, dear. You just haven’t asked about me yet, and silence is dreadfully boring...”

“Ugh, you don’t have to make it sound like I’m not making an effort.” Think. What’s a good question? “You seem to love fighting. What do you fight for?”

“What do you mean? I fight for Nohr, of course.”

Selena frowns and tugs the brush a little harder. “I don’t buy it.” Maybe she’d get the nobility schtick from coming from Xander, because she’d met his type before - all seriousness and pride with a helping of pressure on the side - but Camilla is different. “You fight for _people_. How else can you drag so much pleasure out of it?”

“...Well, you aren’t wrong.” She concedes, slouching more to one side. “From a young age I’ve learned that anyone who might oppose me will also oppose my loved ones. If they aren’t dead, they could hurt someone. I simply make sure nothing ever reaches my darlings, you see. They should be grateful to meet their end on my axe. I’d do so much worse if there was enough time in the day.”

“Did you ever lose someone?” Selena prompts, and she thinks she’d gotten Camilla’s hair as straight as it’s ever going to get, so she sets the brush aside and starts to work on it. She thinks she’ll braid a new crown; tying some of her hair up in a braided circlet and turning the rest beneath it into a long french braid.

Camilla goes quiet. “My, what’s this about? I thought _my_ questions were too depressing?”

“Just returning the favor.” She looks at her hands while she works. “You seem protective. I was curious.”

“Three sisters and a mother. And I _will not_ elaborate further.” Camilla says curtly. Ouch. Must be a very sore spot indeed.

Selena rubs at the back of her head. Way to make it awkward. This is what she gets for waxing sentimental and making everything about her damn self all the time. She’s going to be working for Camilla for gods-know-how-long and this is what she does when she tries to connect with her? Idiot.

“....How do you get your hair to smell this way?” She changes the subject. Ah, so skillful. She’s so good at this. That’s not a weird question or anything. Idiot, idiot, idiot.

Camilla seems ready to have an absolute field day with it, though. “Oh? How close are you getting back there, anyway~? If you like it, I won’t mind if you lean in a little further...”

“N-no way! I’ve just never known anyone who used a shampoo like this.” She defends herself, readjusting one of the braids. “It smells like lavender and honey and I thought you must have a special perfume, or something.” Selena says, offhandedly.

“Well, now I just feel silly. I wish I’d taken the time to smell _your_ hair while I was back there.” She can hear the pout. “Would you turn around for me?”

She stiffens. “Seriously? It’s not like I stuck my face in it or anything. I’m saying your perfume is strong!”

Camilla sulks.

“ _Gawds_ , fine! Smell my hair, you weirdo. I don’t have to act like I like it, you know!” She huffs and turns around, crossing her arms in a sulk of her own. Camilla lifts the Selena’s braid up and makes a show of inhaling.

Weirdo.

“It’s not what I expected.” She says, and sounds almost disappointed, which is a stupid way to sound after smelling someone’s hair. “Roses, right?”

“Yup!” She replies proudly. “I just got a new bottle of perfume at the market the other day -”

“I hate it.” Camilla says with an air of finality, stopping Selena dead in her tracks. “It simply won’t do. You’ll have to use mine from here on out.”

Wh.....what? “You can’t be serious! Just because you don’t like my perfume -” Selena sputters, but Camilla shakes her head. Selena has turned around to face her now, and sees her looking disapprovingly at her hair.

“I just can’t allow it. If my perfume is as strong as you say, then people must associate it with me, yes? I want everyone to know that you are my retainer, and that they may not have you.”

Gods help her and her crazy liege. Selena slumps pathetically on the bed. “Give me a _break_ ,” She groans. “Beruka doesn’t have to wear your perfume....”

“She will.” Camilla replies with a telling, mischievous glint in her eye. “Now! You can continue braiding. I’ll have a bottle delivered to your room once we’ve finished.”

She sighs and gets back to work.

When she’s done, Camilla inspects herself in a mirror and pulls Selena into a much too tight hug. “Wonderful! Simply beautiful. We must do this again. And you look so cute in your braid, too~! I could just eat you right up.”

Selena blushes. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. Just don’t tell me I’m going to have to wear it like this everyday, or I’m quitting.”

Camilla fawns over her for only a moment longer before she’s dismissed; the Nohrian princess is making plans to visit her younger sister Corrin and she needs to concentrate to pick out “the cutest possible outfit to dress her up in”.

She shrugs it off as another weird Camilla thing and makes haste for where she’s sure Odin and Laslow are off screwing around in the training yard, where they’d been meeting up for the past few weeks on their off time.

She has _so_ much venting to do.

**Author's Note:**

> Beruka would probably be pissed about having to wear perfume imo. would mean she'd always have to stay upwind of her opponent so they can't smell her comin. 
> 
> anyway thank you all so much for reading! I'm working on my other stuff too, i swear, haha. don't beat me up i had Feelings about awakening and impulse wrote like two one shots


End file.
